Me, Myself and I, is all I got in the end – that’s what I found out.
And there ain’t no need to cry, I took a vow that from now on, I’m gon’ be my own best friend.
Yes, that is indeed an excerpt from the classic ‘Book of Beyoncé: Dangerously in Love Edition’ and is a trait that we should all possess. This is probably the 500th+ post you have seen on self-love, loving yourself etc. but the reason I am writing this post is because it is something that I have only come to terms with over the last couple of months.
Throughout my growth, I struggled to settle in just about every environment I was placed in whether it was school, youth centre or summer activity clubs. This may be because I was brought up as a single child – all my siblings are years older than me so were doing their own thing and there weren’t many children in my family who were the same age as me so I was kind of like a lost soul finding my way through life.
As a teenager, I had allowed myself to be bullied and treated as an inferior by those I presumed were my friends in order to ‘fit in’, sacrificing my own self-esteem and value in the process. We never thoroughly think about self-love as a young child as it is not taught in schools (or households) and if you look on the internet especially at this time of the year everything is ‘get your summer body in 8 weeks’ or ‘click here to get plump lips like Kylie’ but loving yourself is more than just feeling yourself in front of the mirror – it’s a life journey and a key ingredient to success and happiness.
My journey to prioritising me started about year ago has been a quite a process so far. It requires planning, determination and a huge amount of courage so here are a few challenges I have accepted which I think is a good starting point for who feels a bit lost in the sauce at the moment;
Rule #1 – Embrace your personality
Can you imagine how boring life would be if all 7.1 billion people had the exact same personalities as each other? Learning to accept and embrace your weirdness may ironically be one of the weirdest things you’d have to do if coming from a low confidence and/or anxiety background. Over the past year, I have slowly come to terms with my uniquness from exploring different fashion tastes to spending hours watching documentaries about black british history and corrupt politicians – all interests which I abandoned as they weren’t things that girls should be pursuing at such a young age, apparently chasing f*#kboys and getting drunk was way to go…most of those girls are now young mothers and I will leave it at that.
Back to the main topic, taking the time out to channel your inner spirit and explore different interests is a great starting point of figuring yourself out along the way you would meet likewise people who enjoy or possess similar interests and be more willing to help you grow or pursue your goals and dreams. So if you have a hidden passion for art then spend time visting art galleries and learning the history behind the masterpieces or if you have always wanted to show off your eccentric side by dying your hair or getting a piercing – go for it! It’s always the little things in life which have a huge impact on our own self-understanding and true purpose in life.
Rule #2 – Do something you have always wanted to do
Whether it’s that ski trip you’ve been wishing to go to for the last 3 years or learning how to swim, life is too short to be waiting on others who have other priorities. I can’t even tell you the amount of times my friends have given me false hope on girls holidays or even a trip to the cinema – now most of the time I just do it by myself or find somebody who is actually willing to join me on whatever activity that may be. The great thing about doing things alone is that you meet likewise people who may be in the exact same position – when I saw JoJo live last year it was the first concert I had ever been to alone and was lucky to meet a few others who had actually were in the same circumstance!
My main point is that don’t wait on the approval of other people to do something you want to do – if you have the resources to do it, what’s stopping you?
Rule #3 – Have faith
Having faith is more broader than religion. Life will bring a lot of challenges whether it be in your career, relationships or academic life and the strains may lead to us feeling a bit overwhelmed of it all but there is a light at the end of the tunnel! You just need to have faith in yourself. Nobody can determine the magnitude of your achievements more than you can, the more positivity you have within, the better the results and opportunities that will come your way.
Rule #4 – Release your thoughts
It takes a lot of mental strength to live a positive life and personally I struggle to find the courage to talk to somebody about anything that may be bothering me so instead I write them down in my countless notebooks I have lying around or I blog them on here – that way I am able to reflect and free myself from any negativity that may set me back from accomplising my goals.
Charities such as Samaritans and Mind are two of the UK’s top charities for mental health so if you feel the need to talk to somebody anonymously or find out more about dealing with anxiety and depression you can simply click on the links underlined.
Also if in need of a little pick-me-up, I use Pinterest as an inspiration board which you can check out here: