It has took a long, hard fought effort to finally learn to love myself and embrace my small puff ball that sits on top of my head. Ever since I was a little girl, I always wished for long, straight hair like the girls in the magazines that would blow naturally in the wind and allow me to have a new hair style for every day of the school week but as I grew up, I realised that ambition was unlikely.
I hated my hair. I despised how short it was in comparison to other black girls in my class/school. Most of my childhood my hair was either in cornrows or braided using synthetic hair. My opinion didn’t change regardless. During my secondary (or high) school years, there was this one girl who referred to me as “picky” – I never knew the real reason or humour behind it but I presume it was because of my nappy roots since I was always taunted whenever I had my natural hair tied back or in two.
Despite never saying anything – I never felt more embarrassed. Being in her presence was the worst feeling in the world at the time but I couldn’t change my hair. It’s who I am. Once I finished school and went to college, I didn’t have time to get my hair braided before the new term started in September. I was dreading the first day – what people would think of me etc. however to my surprise I noticed that people were more appreciative of my hair – no names, no unnecessary touching just compliments. Over time, more people took notice when I got my hair done than when I was natural. The sudden surge of confidence came over me – a feeling I had never felt before, I was happier than ever.
#Hairspiration – Viola Davis & Solange
Now in university and currently on work experience, I can freely go out with my short afro puff and not be afraid of being called names or be a subject of bullying. Nowadays, I wear weaves – I was 18 when I got my first sew-in and get braids in spring/summer time but over the last couple of years my hair has been breaking, particularly around the edges and at the back of my head so I made it my resolution to look after my hair in 2016. I don’t want long hair any more, I want healthy hair so I have taken it upon myself to take more care of my hair and decided to wear wigs now instead as it’s easier to maintain. Besides…if I wanted longer hair I can just buy a few 18″ bundles ha.
I now focus on maintaining healthy hair by occasionally wearing wigs instead of regular sew-ins.
I also find it quite interesting now how most are going au naturel nowadays. Not once was I allowed to relax, texturize or put any sort of chemicals in my hair; my mother did it once and ensured that I never went down the same route no matter how many times I questioned her and complained, she stuck to her promise and now I can only thank her because it’s likely I would’ve regretted it so thanks Mum!!
For most of my childhood, I treated my hair as a flaw of mine but really it’s just one of my many beautiful imperfections. That’s all I wanted to say. 🙂