I never thought I would fall in love with my own posts – I never planned to do a Self-Love 101 series but I in all honestly I really do enjoy writing (and reading) these. It’s like self-therapy with a beneficial-to-all factor and the response from friends encourages me to do more. Anyways, we are back with another one and this is a topic that has been on my mind for a while now. Mainly inspired by past discussions my friends and observations – some of the things I have heard and witnessed have me completely perplexed and it can be quite an upsetting sight to know that there are women (and men) out there who do not seek to live out their full potential enough that they would settle for less,
Understanding your true value doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a growing process which involves unlearning certain things and being accountable for our own lives. Just to be clear, I am still young and getting it together just like the rest of us but I would just like to provide a few pointers just to get you started on this game-changing process:
- Write it down: Make a note of everything that you like and dislike about yourself. Break it down into sub-sections e.g. career (current job(s)), personal (traits, looks etc.), relationships. Then focussing on the dislikes, find the reason behind this and discuss whether this can be changed and if so, how. A bit part of being a better person is taking accountability for our actions. We sometimes have a tendency to blame our pitfalls on past events and those involved instead of addressing the root cause and picking up the pieces ourselves.
- Set small goals: Now we have dissected ourselves, it’s time to start planning how we are going to make those changes by setting goals. Break down these big changes into small realistic targets as a starting point and work your way upwards. Don’t forget to pat yourself on the back too. It’s great when we celebrate big achievements but it’s important to reward yourselves for the small steps it took for you to get there. Behind every goal achieved is a lesson which we can learn from and allow us to grow.
- Understand the process: Your life will not change overnight! but you will definitely see some changes in the first few months if you stick with it. Both good and bad – people will start to reveal themselves in their truest form (best friends and partners included) but then great opportunities will come around but these do not come often, so which do you choose? This is when your self-worth is put to the test and this will continue to happen as you flourish.
ALWAYS ensure to take time to solely focus on yourself before you consider getting involved with anything that may include a level of commitment. Trust and believe me when I say that being single does not mean there is something wrong with you or you’re unattractive. It may simply mean that you are not ready to commit to something beyond your reach yet. Your time is coming, there is somebody out there for everyone. So use that time wisely by finding new interests, travelling, reading or watching or listening to TED Talks/podcasts/videos that resonate with you. Remove that time-constraint you have activated in your life and just live it.