Letting People Go to Grow

Letting People Go to Grow

They say all good must come to an end, right? Unfortunately, that includes friendships. There comes a time where you realise that you have outgrown a friendship and sometimes it may be a difficult pill to swallow because of how many memories that friendship holds or how many takeaways and ice-cream you have devoured when times got tough but honey if the stars don’t align, let it go.

Now the inspiration for this post? My current situation. After leaving my hometown for a university, I have been able to become to realise my full potential and value as a woman and figure out my career ambitions and interests. Growing up in central London can be really consuming and difficult to be your true self because being pretentious is the norm so people are willing to alter their character in order to “fit in” so the choice to move to a smaller town, although scary, was the best decision for me. However, studying for an extra year means that most of my friends have graduated and have now settled in at their jobs and is gradually moving on with life while I’m playing catchup whenever we do visit each other, there’s a growing disconnect between us. Communication is now sporadic and overall everything just feels a bit one-sided and forced.

If you have had a similar experience, you would know that it’s an awful feeling of knowing that the blossoming friendship that once existed is not one’s priority to upkeep making you wonder where it all went wrong? Arguments? Nope Distance? Maybe but unlikely Men? Oh hell no! Growth?…perhaps. As mentioned in the previous paragraph, we experience different phases in our lives and for us to proceed into the next chapter of our lives we have to transition ourselves in order to prepare for what (we predict) is to happen. Throughout this transitional period, your outlook will begin to adjust also which may differ from your friends and as a consequence may play a role in your separation.

Is this a bad thing?

Not at all! IT IS APART OF LIFE! Life is a journey, not everybody is meant to be in your life forever – some are brought to cause havoc (and teach you a lesson) and some are meant to spice it up (inspire and support you whilst putting a smile on your face) then leave. People have this thinking that friendships have to end on a rough patch but growth means seeing things for what they are, accepting them and moving on. If you think there is a deeper matter to be discussed, go ahead but if not then why force it?

Honey if the stars don't align, let it go Click To Tweet

Being that I am now in my final year at university, I feel as if I’m entering a transitional phase. I am not the same person I was two years ago, everything from my mindset, mannerisms to the type of environment I engage in has changed and I have noticed that the same girls (I have little to no guy friends lol) that I went to school with or have been a voluntary life therapist in most cases rarely contact me unless I make the first move which pretty much sucks but letting them go is better than dragging them along with me.

That’s all I have to say really. Moral of the blog post is: Do not force something that is not there anymore. Accept it and walk away. Then in future aim to build a supportive network of friends that can allow you to be the best person you can be, uplift you when you are down, be a cheerleader when you win and overall be an asset in your growth journey.

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  • kate

    It’s sad when friendships end but they very often do especially at these sorts of ends of read like school or uni etc. It’s good to make fresh starts with some people though too, those who hold you back etc!!! Great post!!

  • Joanna

    I’ve had many friendships disapear over the years and its something I’ve accepted as we all grow and change.

  • Nicola, J Ogston

    It is difficult sometimes to let go and to accept that friendships can end for no reason other than time and each persons own growth. It has taken me a very long time to accept this myself. I still question why I’ve lost some of the friends I’ve lost. Does that makes sense
    Great post
    X

  • Ysabelle Graham-Smith

    I’m going through this right now with loads of my friends, since graduating I feel like I’m in a completely different place, I’ve made so many positive changes and it’s really difficult to stay close to people who are in the same negative cycles, and just moan about everything but won’t change anything! (Does that make sense?!) It definitely it a fact of life though, friendships change over the years.

    Hope you’re well!

    Ysabelle x
    http://www.thegrahamsmiths.com